Part 3 of Yuppie Quiz

If you were indignant last week when the local bagel shop ran out of triple tofu light strawberry flavored cream cheese, the deli clerk rolled his eyes at you, and the guy behind scream “Move it along Shirley- go eat some grass in the park and let me get my bagel”, then you are a yuppie, and for your sake and that of your protruding vein by your right eyebrow, I hope the big tofu truck delivers your goods ( quickly!),……………..oh yeah and I apologize for my Uncle Charlie who was in back of you in line that day.

You May Indeed be a Yuppie....read on for Part 2

If you go to Barnes and Noble, sprawl yourself and your family out on the carpeted floor, read books until you get bored, and then go home without buying anything, you are a yuppie.

If you go for a relaxing bike ride in the park on a Saturday, throw on a pair of jogging pants and bring a bottle of water, you are a regular person. However, if you don overpriced neon biking shorts with matching helmet and gloves and really believe that you are indeed Lance Armstrong while going 50 along the bike path, then you are a yuppie and you have probably mowed down a child or two who was innocently trying to get to the playground.

Are You a Yuppie? Part 1

if you haven’t been out much lately and have any doubts to recognizing a native from a transplanted yuppie ( or even worse think you may be a yuppie yourself!!) , here are some clues:

If you avoid Key Food on Saturdays like you would the bird flu, then you are a native. I would rather go shopping at 9 pm any week night during a thunderstorm than brave the parade of yuppie couples invading the space. Yuppie couples with children are there with their young tots letting them wreak havoc up and down the small aisles and trying to reason with a one year old by asking him why he wants to smash the huge jar of pickles on the elderly lady in front of him? If a single guy is spotted there, he is usually on the cell phone with his significant other begging for her to point out the proper wheat germ for the lactose free frosting they will make for dessert. And every so often, while trying to make your way down the cookie aisle, a native gets stuck smack in the middle of a group of toesey wearing ( you know the flat sandals with one toe strap that usually only women wear), long hair sporting young yuppies in training espousing on a particular recipe with great introspection and bewilderment trying to figure out if white flour can be the one bad, bad ingredient in their Veggie surprise lasagna.